Walking away from his building , she stopped for a while and felt like everything was going in a slow motion , felt that it was a dream and someone is going to wake her up ; till suddenly she heard a voice yelling at her, she turned to find him standing , gazing at her , he was talking , probably shouting , she couldn't figure out what he was exactly saying , she was still under the effect of the dream she thought she was living in .
But from his words she could hear him saying " look , If I was a careless doctor , or if I was not caring for you as a patient and a friend , I would tell you that you would die now............and I would force you to do it , but I am not , I am just diagnosing your case .............., you defray some of the pain you are suffering , you were very careless , you did most of the things that I told you not to do .... , Are you listening to me ? ,Can you hear me ....can you ......"
She woke up later at his clinic , he was sitting beside her looking to her with much love and pity , she knew she wasn't his patient or friend , she was his secret love . His eyes that were full of coldness and cruelty are now full of love and fear .She smiled at him and said " Are you still insisting that I am a desperate case , and I have only two months left , there isn't any hope ? "
" Some Diseases are not such predictable as you think , I am saying two months because till now nothing is working , your body response to the medicines is very slow , if it continues on that way , your body will be dead in nearly two months as science says , so ..." , " I will take the medicine , I will do everything , "She interrupted him , " but I cant do everything on my own , I need your help , so shall we have an agreement ? I'll follow your instructions but you should help me , have a walk with me everyday , call me to remind me of the medicines , BE WITH ME ? , can you ? "
He hold her hands , didnot say a word , she was waiting for answer , and holding her hands wasn't the clear answer she wanted to hear , she asked again " Will you help me! " he smiled and gently hold her face , forcing her mouth to draw a smile . She felt happiness inside , but showed anger to him , he didnt care and in seconds she couldn't hide what she felt ,it was love !
Then the testing period began.
---------------------------
خرجت مسرعة تائهة ، عجزت قدماها فجأة عن المُضيِ و كأن الحياة توقفت فجأة بداخلها . " هذا حُلم سخيف بالتأكيد ... حتماً سأستيقظ منه "
فجأةً باغتها صوتا ، صوته ، يبدوا غاضبا ، تحاول فهم ما يقول ولكنها مازالت غارقة في صدمتها .
تداخل صوته في حلمها : " أنا لم أكن أبداً طبيبا مهملا ، وانتِ لم تكوني أبدا مريضة عادية ، أنا لا أحاول أن أُفقدُكِ الأمل أبدا ، أنا فقط أخبرك بوضع مرضك ، هذا ما يتحتم عليَ ....انتِ تزيفين الحقيقة و تنكرين شعورك بالألم ... لقد أهملت نفسك ، أهملت كل إرشاداتي ... ماذا عساني أن أفعل ! ..."
استيقظت على سرير عيادته الذي اعتادته منذ فترة لتجده جالسا بجانبها بعينين مليئتين بحب يؤكدان لها ما كان يحاول إنكاره، انها ليست مريضة عادية او صديقة ، هي الحب الذي حاول اخفاؤه دائما ، فعيناه اللتان طالما برع في استخدامهما لإخفاء حقيقة مشاعره قد خانتاه الان .
" هل مازلت حالة ميئوس منها ؟ ألا يوجد امل " ، سألته هي في هدوء .
" بدأ المرض في التمكن منك ، إذا استمر هذا الوضع ـ سيتهالك جسمك ، هذا ما يخبره تحليلي لوضعك ولكن بالتأكيد هناك طريق للشفاء يعتمد عل" ، قاطعته " سافعل كل ما تريده ، ساتناول دوائي بانتظام ، سأقلع عن تناول الطعام الممنوع كله ، سأتبع كل الارشادات و لكن .. لا تتركني أفعل ذلك بمفردي ، كُن بجانبي ، كُن معي.. فقط لا تتركني وحدي "
نظر إليها في هجوء ممسكاً يدها في دفء ، باعثاً لقلبها رسالة طمأنينة ، ليتبادلا في صمت اعترافاً بمشاعرهم . ويسلكا أولى خطوات الاختبار.
But from his words she could hear him saying " look , If I was a careless doctor , or if I was not caring for you as a patient and a friend , I would tell you that you would die now............and I would force you to do it , but I am not , I am just diagnosing your case .............., you defray some of the pain you are suffering , you were very careless , you did most of the things that I told you not to do .... , Are you listening to me ? ,Can you hear me ....can you ......"
She woke up later at his clinic , he was sitting beside her looking to her with much love and pity , she knew she wasn't his patient or friend , she was his secret love . His eyes that were full of coldness and cruelty are now full of love and fear .She smiled at him and said " Are you still insisting that I am a desperate case , and I have only two months left , there isn't any hope ? "
" Some Diseases are not such predictable as you think , I am saying two months because till now nothing is working , your body response to the medicines is very slow , if it continues on that way , your body will be dead in nearly two months as science says , so ..." , " I will take the medicine , I will do everything , "She interrupted him , " but I cant do everything on my own , I need your help , so shall we have an agreement ? I'll follow your instructions but you should help me , have a walk with me everyday , call me to remind me of the medicines , BE WITH ME ? , can you ? "
He hold her hands , didnot say a word , she was waiting for answer , and holding her hands wasn't the clear answer she wanted to hear , she asked again " Will you help me! " he smiled and gently hold her face , forcing her mouth to draw a smile . She felt happiness inside , but showed anger to him , he didnt care and in seconds she couldn't hide what she felt ,it was love !
Then the testing period began.
---------------------------
خرجت مسرعة تائهة ، عجزت قدماها فجأة عن المُضيِ و كأن الحياة توقفت فجأة بداخلها . " هذا حُلم سخيف بالتأكيد ... حتماً سأستيقظ منه "
فجأةً باغتها صوتا ، صوته ، يبدوا غاضبا ، تحاول فهم ما يقول ولكنها مازالت غارقة في صدمتها .
تداخل صوته في حلمها : " أنا لم أكن أبداً طبيبا مهملا ، وانتِ لم تكوني أبدا مريضة عادية ، أنا لا أحاول أن أُفقدُكِ الأمل أبدا ، أنا فقط أخبرك بوضع مرضك ، هذا ما يتحتم عليَ ....انتِ تزيفين الحقيقة و تنكرين شعورك بالألم ... لقد أهملت نفسك ، أهملت كل إرشاداتي ... ماذا عساني أن أفعل ! ..."
استيقظت على سرير عيادته الذي اعتادته منذ فترة لتجده جالسا بجانبها بعينين مليئتين بحب يؤكدان لها ما كان يحاول إنكاره، انها ليست مريضة عادية او صديقة ، هي الحب الذي حاول اخفاؤه دائما ، فعيناه اللتان طالما برع في استخدامهما لإخفاء حقيقة مشاعره قد خانتاه الان .
" هل مازلت حالة ميئوس منها ؟ ألا يوجد امل " ، سألته هي في هدوء .
" بدأ المرض في التمكن منك ، إذا استمر هذا الوضع ـ سيتهالك جسمك ، هذا ما يخبره تحليلي لوضعك ولكن بالتأكيد هناك طريق للشفاء يعتمد عل" ، قاطعته " سافعل كل ما تريده ، ساتناول دوائي بانتظام ، سأقلع عن تناول الطعام الممنوع كله ، سأتبع كل الارشادات و لكن .. لا تتركني أفعل ذلك بمفردي ، كُن بجانبي ، كُن معي.. فقط لا تتركني وحدي "
نظر إليها في هجوء ممسكاً يدها في دفء ، باعثاً لقلبها رسالة طمأنينة ، ليتبادلا في صمت اعترافاً بمشاعرهم . ويسلكا أولى خطوات الاختبار.
No comments:
Post a Comment